There are many things you can’t fully see or understand until sufficient time has passed. Only after enough time has passed, you can look back on them, and think retrospectively, with a certain detachment. You begin to see the intricacies of events, words, emotions. You are now able to vocalize feelings that before were so jumbled, causing you to explode in frustration, doing or saying drastic things to those close to you.
After enough time has passed, you are able to have rational conversations about what was wrong in a relationship, what you needed at the moment and willingly find solutions, which at the time seemed so impossible. You won’t cry or scream, and you will feel silly about the pettiness of your argument or the insignificance of your anger. Or perhaps you will realize that it wasn’t insignificant at all, and there in fact were real underlying problems, deep inside.
As you go back and revisit the past, in thoughts, dreams and silent absences between mundane tasks, you will begin solving that puzzle in your past life. You will have new conversations, rework the situations and imagine how differently it would have been had it gone the way you imagine. You will be pleased with yourself. You have solved this drama, rationally, efficiently! The triumph will last but a moment, until you are back to your mundane task or a restless morning and the reality of the present.
You will wonder: is this regret? Should I do something about it? The solutions are so simple; I see it now! But then you will remember how much time has actually passed and how much time changes things—and how much it all doesn’t matter anymore.
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